Sometimes there are no words.
When the cancer has grown.
When your mother has flown to be with Jesus. Or your brother. Or sister or friend or coworker.
When all the news seems to be a steady replay of death, controversy, suffering and pain.
When the money is not enough.
It won’t buy health, it won’t buy time, it won’t replace the years lost.
When you feel so defeated and wonder why even the good you try to do for others seems to go nowhere.
A song on the radio plays and you find yourself in tears.
Having bottled up your pain, the cup finally tips and you let it gush.
It would not be good for your friends or family to know you cried, you think.
Because why not, society only admires strength and this is not that.
A voice comes over the radio.
A paper thin female voice, wispy and soft and comforting.
“Give it all to Jesus,” she says.
She talks about prayer and how God loves you and how your life will never be the same when you let Him in.
Nine years old, eight years old, six years old, you remember the baptismal waters .. A crowd of Christians and Sunday morning dresses …
Spearmint chewing gum your Grandmother handed you from a thirty year old purse that smelled like old roses and held one Kleenex and a lipstick ..
The preacher and the cross and the music.
Maybe the question isn’t “Have you let Him in?” but “Have you let Him back in?”
Not wanting to be vulnerable, you go on a number of months, even years, and admire the people you see and how they smile as they share their faith and wonder why isn’t it like that for me?
The God of the fancy is the God of the every day person, not a pick and choose God that some would paint Him to be.
The Godhead with muscles. The Ancient of Days Who Gets It.
The One you can talk to about anything without fearing society’s pilfering opinions or judgment of man.
The tears, the fears, the concerns overwhelm you and suddenly it becomes clear.
This God thing is a relationship thing and not a religion thing and is something quite tangible.
God is Bigger than the cross around our necks.
He is Bigger than the altar at our church.
He is Vast and Omnipotent, Unchangeable, Ever Present and yet loving enough to pull up a chair in our hearts and have coffee with us as we dish on the day and all its cares.
Lord, come sit with me in the quiet of this time. Walk through the corridors of my soul. Fill me with Your love and healing. Hold me close and give my bones strength for another day. Let me be a blessing, Lord.