Overheard a yoga instructor recently say she was going on a “mental diet.” She and her students were wearing armbands to snap their arm every time they had a negative thought about themselves, the world, judgmental thoughts, etc.
Kind of like a snap out of it deal.
I thought about my day with my Bestie at a very large nature park, and how I was ready to run (kind of hard as my ankle is still getting strong from its break back in March) and she was at one with nature.
Hearing gator songs on both sides of us, I was like, “feet, don’t fail me now.”
Later, we talked about this. One thing I love about her is she is brave, but not stupid.
She grew up in Florida’s parks and knows them well. And as part of her law enforcement job, she runs into “gator calls” once in a while. Sometimes, a trapper comes to remove the issue, depending on the size of the gator.
At first, I was like wow I feel like a failure. Like, “I am not brave.” A fear filled person. Where in the world is my faith? If I really had faith, would I fear what God’s creation could do to me?
It is also no secret that in news articles, we read about the occasional tragedy. But typically, it involves people or dogs wading into water.
So while my head waged a war against my lack of a spine when it comes to wildlife, she told me to stop thinking that way.
Someone once told me I was a city girl. I do like to shop, attend metro gatherings occasionally. But I do love nature. I also love farms and have often wished I had a chance to grow up on a farm the way my Grandma did.
As we talked, I realized I should clarify my thoughts about walks in the wilderness. I like boardwalks, more protected views of nature. Benches in safe places. I love, love, love bodies of water, trees and flowers. A dream for me is to one day own a pickup truck and pontoon boat so I can take advantage of our Chain of Lakes. (Not sure if that will ever happen because of the expense, but dreams have to start somewhere.)
This will not be our last wilderness walk, as I am determined to come to peace with wildlife and such fears.
I confronted my fear of public speaking. Confronted my fear of walking up to total strangers to ask their opinion or account of an event. Confronted my fear of failure by graduating from college.
Life is a series of such moments.
When I was a kid, on youth retreats in Indiana, I would always take off by myself in the woods.
What happened to that little girl?