The sun is not up yet, and there are dew drops of condensation on the windows of this old farmhouse.
Another brand new day awaits.
I write this from the couch, as my cat, Molly, has snuggled up for a morning nap.
I have been catted.
As you know, from time to time, I share blogs specifically aimed at encouraging survivors of sexual abuse and trauma heal from the past.
Truth is, there are more people than you would think who have been through such atrocities.
In 2013, I wrote my story, The Brighter Side of A Darker Thing, and it was published by WestBow Press.
Since then, I have slowly, quietly, had hundreds of conversations with fellow survivors.
“Get over it,” she said.
The woman sitting across from me at a fast food restaurant said that is what she was told by her family when they heard she had been abused.
Here is a blog of a few tips that may help you in your healing. Remember we are all different, and if you stumble across something that helps you heal, please share with the rest of us so we can explore that as well.
Number 1: Recognize the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter the circumstance. What you were wearing, or whether you were friendly, or whether you were a boy or girl, or young or old. Nobody else has the right to abuse you. It was not your fault.
2. The unfortunate thing is that while the abuse was not your fault, the journey of healing and steps you take rest upon you and your willingness to move forward. We will never forget what happened. It is always with us. But one thing that helps me is this: “I am not there now.”
3. Celebrate the Now. I have found that numerous survivors become highly gifted people in the arts and other occupations because they look for an outlet for all of the energy that is pent up from the fact that either justice was not served, the fact that we cannot change the past, etc. What are you doing with your gifts? Explore that.
4. Watch what you say. It is true that we as survivors oft morph into the negative. Self esteem and dignity is battered and it proves to be a challenge to speak positivity. For example: “I will never amount to anything. I am a freak. I do not fit in. I am ugly. I am dirty. I am permanently broken.” The positive of that is “I am able. I am gifted. I am special and created by God, therefore, I am good. I am beautiful (or handsome). I am pure because the abuse did not change my heart. I have gifts and I have survived, and the sky is the limit as to my future.”
I will share more in future blogs on this.
Meanwhile, must get ready for work.
Know today that God loves you and you are a blessing.