The real of real

“She is so fake.” “He is way too positive.” “Why don’t they tell me what is really going on? Why do they keep me at arm’s distance?”

“What I want to see is the real deal.”

“You can photoshop anything you want.”

“I think people who use filters are phony.”

“Nobody is perfect.”

Social media and the search for the real, extraordinary, fantastic or ridiculously awful.

Recently, I heard a few people, on different occasions, say they were tired of fake people.


Listen to any comedy routine, and oft you will find truths to which you can relate.

We know what life is like.

“Tell it like it is.”

Seems like there are a few groups of people.

One group is running a massive public relations campaign so everyone thinks their life is fantastic. Another fights to be positive every day. The lifelong struggle with depression yields itself in positive mantras all over the place. Still another group, realists, are the ones who will let it all hang out so to speak. They will share more than they probably should and others judge them for it. “Back in my day, we did not talk about things like that.”

So true, it is.

Then there is the group that does not care. You can try to connect, find a common bond. The only thing they hear is the sound of their own voice. The only real in their lives is they are focused solely on themselves.

I am a realist and like many others, desire for people to be themselves. If they like yoga and green tea, great. They pile their hair on top their head in a blue man bun, and to me, I am like ok. If that floats your boat.

Whatever. The word whatever is a conversation in itself.

What exactly is real and what do you do with it?

For one person, real means that what I believe in is absolutely real.

Another person says “hogwash.”

And add to that so many people are afraid of being real about their life or their beliefs

photo of night sky
Photo by Tobias Bjørkli on

for fear the head hunters will figuratively storm the island and make a mess of things.

Example. On Facebook. I can post a photo of a fresh tomato or pineapple from my garden. Everybody loves a pineapple! I can post dog or cat photos. So popular. People love pets! Post your vacay photos. That is safe.

Post anything spiritual and the line goes quiet. Post political and the cacti flood the timeline.

So we have learned what people like and do not like. It is acceptable to have a rant once in a while. But is every post a complaint? Enter the court of judgment and have a seat.

Post continuously positive posts, and people start believing you are living in a dream world. Wake up. Enter the court of judgment.

Try to balance the positive with a few peeves, stir in some funny or beautiful selfies, and yet the truth is .. nobody knows the real you unless you spend time together.

And even then, there are those who are guarded.

“If I don’t share, I won’t get hurt.”

“If I am quiet, I will not make waves.”

“What would they think if they knew how much effort it takes me just to get out of the house?”


Like a glittering snowflake as it floats to the earth. Like a diamond’s shine when it is seen for the first time. Like a pearl of precious value. A baby’s belly laugh. A dog’s kind eyes and concern when you stub your toe. Like the contrast of darkness and light, a thousand stars in the night sky. Real.

Everyone is real and has real. But not all choose to share it with others.

Contemplation on this Sunday afternoon.

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