If you are reading this blog, then it is proof positive that you have made it.
What does that mean?
It means that regardless of what you suffered, in spite of any effort of the universe to take you out, no matter what you have seen or where you have been .. you are here right now.
How long has it been since you celebrated you?
I was once at a spiritual retreat designed for singles (it was co-ed, kind of like church), and the speaker was doing a lesson on loving yourself the way God loves you.
Out of a few hundred people (I was not even sitting in the front), he called me up to the front of the room, and asked his wife to help me stand on a chair in front of everyone.
He asked me to then tell everyone how special and beautiful I was.
He said it in such a way that it literally turned on the faucet to my pent up pain and low self esteem.
His wife wrapped me in a hug, and I sobbed.
Though for sure it was vulnerable for me .. there was not a dry eye in the room.
He said, “you see, she cannot do it.”
And went on to talk about how something, somewhere, impacted me so much that I literally loathed myself.
Why do we as survivors hate ourselves so?
I think of my beautiful babies and my grandchildren. How I adore them. Their pictures are on my desk at work, in my phone, and all over my room at home.
Cherished. They are my world. There is not a single moment of my day but what I am thinking of my family.
The same applies to us. I know everyone has a different world view. That is the power of choice.
I believe in the Creator. As the created, I look around at others and think, you know, I am not as good as they, as smart as they, as pretty or talented as they .. are.
One of the hallmarks of experiencing trauma as a child is self hatred.
My counselor years ago asked me if I would talk to my children the way I talk to myself, and I said no way.
He told me to take the little girl inside me by the hand and be gentle with her.
I still struggle with self hating thoughts at times, but am making great strides.
The concept that I am a unique creation, deliberately fashioned, by God, has been healing in many ways.
I do art .. writing, sewing, crocheting, drawing, painting, snipping, pasting, singing, song writing.
I love art because it is organic and unique. Something I created.
Today, remember that you are not a mistake. You are precious in the sight of God. You have gifts and abilities. Talents you do not even see. But others do.
Today, celebrate you. A hard exercise, it is true, but entirely possible.
What does that look like?
My name is Kathy Leigh. I love God, my family and friends. Little things mean a lot to me. Simple things amaze me. The whirl of dry leaves in the breeze on a fall morning, the smile of a baby riding in a stroller at the grocery store, the sound of the ocean and the memory of its thousands of secrets, sunrises and sunsets, starry nights, fireflies, glitter left behind by a child decorating a city sidewalk, rows of cows line up by a country fence. Beauty. Everywhere.
I love coffee and drink a pot of it ever
y day. Long walks in the country inspire and refresh me. I laugh every day, because life is too hard to frown all the time. I make many mistakes. But also learn from some of them. I always thought I made friends easily, yet inside always worry about being a burden. I love to read and listen to music. The contrast of light and darkness is beautiful to me .. candlelight and mini-lighted topiaries make me smile. I don’t like arrogance. People that are full of themselves are a big turn off, yet also I see they may have morphed that way because their childhood was rough too. Perhaps. My heart breaks for people who have nothing, those who are alone, the broken and the needy. I have compassion. Bitter? Yes, I have also fought bitterness at times because of my road.
Today I celebrate me. My purpose is to be a blessing. That is all.
Here’s to you, today. Make a list of your accomplishments and beliefs. The things you like and don’t like. And always, look .. on the Brighter Side.